"promoted by the color red" (whenindoubtflatout)
10/30/2013 at 04:15 • Filed to: None
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"promoted by the color red" (whenindoubtflatout)
10/30/2013 at 04:15 • Filed to: None | 1
| 2 |
I'm writing a fake cover letter for a writing class. In this alternate history, it's been ten years since I've graduated college.
In that span, I've worked for Honda, McLaren, and then McLaren-Honda. I helped the 2015 Civic Type-R meet Euro-5 targets. I cured the P1 supercar of its nasty habits of snapping camshafts at high speeds. With my help the F1 team managed to stop the 2019 car from eating turbochargers during off-season development. We not only won the 2019 Racing Car of the Year, we also took home four consecutive World Constructors' Championships.
So after being forced to resign because of a hilarious accident involving Murray Walker, the Goodwood circuit, and a McLaren F1, I'm applying to be Engine Project Manager for Ferrari.
On one hand, I'm impressed at my ability to lie. On the other hand I'm a bit sad that my real life won't be this awesome.
MtrRider Just Wants Doritos
> promoted by the color red
10/30/2013 at 04:21 |
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The sad thing is, although that is hilariously unbelievable, someone is doing it. Maybe not all of it, but enough to make you realize how mediocre your life is. Shit, now I'm sad.
Thanks, Obama.
highmodulus
> promoted by the color red
10/30/2013 at 08:47 |
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I would have made myself the reverse Forrest Gump showing up randomly at future horrible things ("and that's when the two bus loads of orphans crashed into the river") and ("and that's how I found out Supreme Court Judges' robes were highly flammable") and ("so it turns out that computer I was playing Minecraft on also was controlling the Dam's floodgates") and finish with "and with these lessons behind me I am sure this time will be different ."